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The Faces of Freedom
Another Testimony of God's Grace

Daniel Arn - Woodland, WA

Hello my name is Daniel Arn, I am twenty one years old. I came to Freedom House from up in the Woodland, WA area where I shared an apartment with my older brother.  Before coming to Freedom House I can truly say that my life was falling apart.  Everything I did in my attempts to change things just seemed to make life worse.  My mindset was so often confused and depressed, and frankly I just couldn’t seem to keep myself off of the drugs.  Drug use cost me my apartment, my job and my car.  I guess you could say that I pretty much lost everything from using dope.  My life was such a mess and the drugs and alcohol were only adding to my other problems.

I had big challenges early in life as growing up with my five brothers and four sisters was very tough at times.  When I was younger I learned tough love, getting whipped with branches of my choice.  When I’d disobey my parents, my Dad would come home and my Mom would tell him about my behavior and I would get whipped out of tough love.  When I was about fourteen my parents separated and divorced.  My Dad took our only car and was gone.  I know in my heart that my Mom did the best she could, but it just didn’t seem to be enough.  I felt the pressure of being the man in the house at the time and I was hurt and angry.  It got to the point that I could not trust anyone anymore.  While growing up I had been homeless for a while, actually holding down a job but sleeping for months in my car.  Being homeless and using drugs also made me vulnerable at times.  Once I was so drugged up I awoke to discover a strange man with his hand down my pants.  I was terrified, grabbed a knife and chased that man away.  That event traumatized me so much, I couldn’t even begin to tell anyone about it for five years.  These kind of events kept messing with my mind, adding to the confusion and anger which continued to plague me.  Deep anger began to settle in my heart along with a growing bitterness which together blocked me from being able to open up to anyone.  I felt I was all alone with all these emotions so bottled up inside.  I began to doubt myself, feeling that I didn’t get the attention I needed.  As a result, I tried to be the one that would do stuff just to get noticed.  I thought that maybe I would make people proud of me or value me so that I would feel acceptance and perhaps, with that much attention I might get the sense of security which I hadn’t received while growing up.  Sadly, that path quickly took the form of acting out to get all the attention.  I started using every drug that I could get my hands on.  The behaviors that followed nearly took my life completely.  I thank God that He protected me.  I survived several drug overdoses and accidents while under the influence of hallucinogens, etc.  The scariest near-death experience I can remember was when a can filled with gasoline actually blew up right in front of my face. The explosion sent me running with my whole body covered in flames.  I was able to survive with only minor injuries.  I would like to honor my brave grandfather, Darold Bemer, for saving my life that day.  He risked serious harm to himself by putting out my gasoline soaked body and clothing.

Using drugs also made me do crazy stuff and people saw the need I had for detox.  Yet detox time in secular recovery didn’t seem to make any lasting impression.  I actually chose to come to Freedom House Ministries after I had readmitted myself back into detox.  I knew I needed help.  I was tired of hurting people as well as myself.  When my final day in the secular program came and my time there was up, I began to think over all that I had lost and those folks whom I had so disappointed.  I believe that Satan began to really oppress me at that moment as thoughts of suicide kept flashing into my mind.  Suicide appeared to be some sort of way to escape the pain within.  I was scared to be on my own, outside of any professional care because of my addictions and being in the midst of this battle within, (whether to live or take my own life).  I was certain that I had a spiritual adversary and I knew that I couldn’t fight him alone.  I became aware that there would be no cure for me without God.  It was as though He put that deep understanding within me and I cried out to God for help.  He answered my prayers by having a very kind woman give me some direction.  She offered me a program brochure to Freedom House Ministries.  The brochure told of this faith-based ministry that was designed to help those who desire freedom from addictions and other life-controlling problems.  That was exactly what I needed.  I called and set up an interview along with a tour of the campus for my Mom and I.  It was obvious that I needed real help and I made the decision to enter this program for a year.

 Now the first few weeks at Freedom House were pretty difficult, considering I was faced with a whole different situation than I was used to.  My main challenges here came down to obeying the authority which God has appointed over me as well as coping with constructive criticism.  I can say that I am beginning to feel truly loved and a real part in His family here. I am also  enjoying some real stability and focus.  Now I listen to my authorities and I’m learning to listen twice as much as I talk. 

I feel as though I have all I need in my life, now that I know the truth found in God’s Word.  God has delivered me from the chains of anger and bitterness which once bound my heart.  I believe that He is putting a new purpose in my heart, a call and purpose to help others find freedom and learn to do God’s will.  I can see this beginning to happen through obedience to his commands and by enduring whatever it takes to walk the straight path.  I thank God for His calling on my life.  My security is found in Him.  He didn’t just save me from, He has saved me for... a higher purpose in life.  Receiving forgiveness for the hurts and pains I have caused so many people has also been liberating to my soul.  In my old ways I was spiritually dead within my sins, but thanks be to the Lord’s grace and forgiveness I can finally sense a great rest and real peace.

If He is to help us in our struggles, we must give ourselves up completely.  Matthew 10:38 says “and he who does not take his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.”  A believer once told me that “it’s up to you... either get in the boat and go somewhere or stay right where you are at and miss out on all He has for you.”   God will help those who truly seek Him with all their heart.  Another scripture that touches this same thought is found in Mark 8:34 “when he had called the people to himself with his disciples” also, He said to them, “whoever desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”  I am learning to put aside what I want and deny myself of what my flesh is desiring, in order to receive what God wants to do in and through my life.  I want to be able to say confidently that it is not I who lives but Jesus Christ who lives in me.  Within this discipleship environment, I am becoming a warrior after God’s heart and standing up for what I believe.  I’m building an intimate relationship with Him, learning to put God first in my life.

The staff here at FH have really provided clarity and understanding on how to draw closer to God.  Pastor Jim is really helping me by speaking truth into my life. He sets a good example of how a man after God should live.  I am very blessed to have such a strong man of faith to teach me so much. FH executive assistant, Lynn, has also been a wonderful help to me.  She works so hard to be there for all of us guys at FH.  She is a strong sister in the Lord, one whom I really respect and appreciate.  Gordon, the Program Assistant, has been a blessing in my life as well.  He is teaching me (with and about) discipline, which I am very proud to endure now.

You friends who have supported these people along with their efforts here are truly helping me change my life.  I hope that I am as faithful in helping others as you have been to help me.  I don’t know where I would have turned.  I mean where would I have been able to go if this place hadn’t been here?  If that women hadn’t been able to point me this way with a brochure, I do not know what I would have done.  Thank you for caring and more than just caring, for doing something to really help.  God bless you.

I look forward to a fresh start by putting my past behind and living a new life built upon His promises.  2 Corinthians 5:17 says.   “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”   I am learning to walk in this life, as a new man.  Thank you Jesus.